I've been plagued with sleepless nights, trying to map out my future. With all the changes that have occurred in the last two months, I have too many things to figure out and decide. Too many limitations to consider.
About school, my plan was to try to graduate in May, but in my heart I knew that was impossible. I knew that I was going to be overwhelmed and miserable for five months straight, and the prospect was disheartening.
An Enlightening Dinner
Last night I had dinner with my professor, the one I'm going to be interning with this semester. It was a strategy and planning session for our class, Introduction to Language Analysis. We ate pizza, drank beer and went over our plans for the class.
It's my third internship with her in the course of my whole college career. As an undergrad, I interned in History of the English Language. My first semester as a grad student, I interned in Structure of American English.
This will be my last chance to intern with her, so I already feel nostalgic about it. It's a huge learning experience, a teaching job without the pressure, fear and anxiety, and best of all a chance to work closely with someone I admire.
But she is also one of my thesis advisers, so I had a chance at last to talk strategy with a knowledgeable person. She told me my plan wasn't feasible, so now I have a new one, a plan that allows me to breathe and be sane for the rest of the year. My new improved thesis deadline is now in late November!
This semester, I'm going to take my two classes and do the internship, write the thesis over the summer and finish it in the fall, while also teaching First-year Composition as a paid teaching associate in the fall. This is a life I might actually be able to pull off.
To Move or Not to Move
With that mapped out, I now just have to decide whether to move, where to move and how to move. My house is too expensive, but moving is expensive too. Maybe I can get some more work with the time I now won't be using to write a thesis. I consider getting a housemate, but my son and I are a perfect living unit. We respect one another and don't find each other's habits irritating.