Friday, July 10, 2009
Nesting vs. Wanderlust
It was charming and idyllic-- blossoming garden, pretty cats perched everywhere, amazing dinner, pink cocktails in fancy glasses, a tiny cake, laughter, camaraderie, and, as I made my way through the darkness to my car afterward, the scent and sound of the Pacific Ocean.
For the briefest moment, I wished to settle down in a similar situation. For the briefest moment, I recalled that I was once a nester who loved the ocean.
My heart did a little tumble, but I got it back under control, cranked up the music and drove away.
What was in that little house was once my dream.
Now I don't know what I want exactly, and I can't quite tell who I am -- other than a woman in transition: divorced, children mostly grown, education mostly complete.
By the time the dust settles, the next chapter of my life will have made itself clear. All I know is this: I will be a teacher and a grandmother. The question is where?
If I were in a happy, comfy relationship, I would love to live in a little house by the ocean like that.
But by myself, all I want to do is travel. Work a little, then travel. Repeat.
It is quite the dichotomy, between globetrotter and homebody. No wonder I talk to myself in the car all the time.
P.S. I am really learning Swedish from tapes, but I'm sure it looks pretty comical to passing motorists.
P.P.S. Thanks, Kelly P., for the better title.